Soooooooooo I went home... at first!!! ^^ I had to pick up two checks that I kept forgetting to bring to school. I need them so I could take the AP English Language Exam instead of the AP Literature Exam I signed up for. Haha I didn't know the difference between them at the time ^^".
So I drove to school, ran in, handed in the checks, got my old check for the lit. exam back, and went off to a review session for the bio AP test. I didn't really learn much, but by going, I ended up learning that I needed a buy a new AP Bio Test Book. The ones I had weren't that great. Apparently, Kaplan has a lot of mistakes in it, and Princeton Review is too easy.
Anyways, after the session, I hung out with HG for a bit, we went to the library/infocentre cuz she wanted to review what we had learned in the session. EE was there too, doin physics hw. Haha I was kinda tempted to leave cuz they get along so well and I didn't wanna be a quiet, awkward presence that didn't have anything to say. But I stayed for a bit, talked with them, and decided to go home.
I made a trip to the bathroom, and pondered about whether or not I should look for some of my friends that might be outside, cuz I saw AZ througha window, so I assumed that she was going to hang out with ppl. But I decided that it was too much trouble and that there was a really big chnace that I wouldn't find anyone and would've searched for nothing. Haha I made the right choice. Turns out she went to a play practive in the farmhouse near the school. =)
So was about to leave when I heard running footsteps behind me... and was suddenly tackled from behind... hard!!! haha I knew who attacked me without even having to look, it was XG!!! ^^ I had wondered where she was cuz she always stays after and I didn't see her anywhere.
So I decided to stay a bit longer and hang with her. haha I saw EW as she was leaving and apparently, she has her drivers permit now!!! XD Good for her!!!
So I didn't plan to stay too long, cuz I wanted to go home, cuz I told HG that I was going home, and cuz I never really told my mom that I was gonna stay at school after dropping off the checks. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I ended up sticking around until 4. Hahaha just 40 minutes longer than planned. :D
So I talked with her, got kicked by her, got hit by her, had my shoe laces attacked by her, got hit in the head by her flute case, got hit by rocks, got hit on my glasses (yay eye protection!), and just hung out with her =). Haha the violence mentioned isn't as bad as it might sound... though, then again, it's me, so I think I deal with all these things better than others :D. Then again, I don't think anyone else would allow such things to happen to them at all! Haha oh well, it's more fun and interesting this way.
Haha and before anyone thinks that I'm letting my self get pushed over, I wanna say that I did retaliate!!! xD Poking her sides, fuzzing her hair, beating her in verbal battles (haha she's the only one that I've ever managed to win over XD), hood attacking her, doing some tickling thing on her knees, stealing her flute case, moving her around as I wished by taking hold of her backpack, and more!!! XDXDXD
Hahaha some funny things that happened. I looked outside and said, "ohh! A bird!!!" and XG actaully looked away and I managed to take hold of her backpack!!! HAHAHA AWESOME. She accidently hit me with her flute case, so I learned that it was a leathal weapon. HAHAHA also, she took out her water bottle, and I was jokingly gonna say something about it being a lethal weapon like the flute case... but she actually hit me withthe bottle hahahahaha. WOW XD. One of the times when I took her flute, I accidentally almost knocked over a sign on the sidewalk! Hahaha I caught it in time though, and set it up again. Haha another time I took her flute, I made my way to my car and locked myself in! Hahaha I actually did something like with her at barnes and nobles once!!! I should totally blog about that another time cuz this post is getting long haha. That was a fun day too!!! XD
Haha so she wanted to walk home, something I forbid her to do cuz its dangerous and stuff and I don't feel confortable letting her walk home, at least when she's alone. Some parts of the road lack sidewalks and safe sidelines for walking. Haha truthfully, I kinda have a "she could get hurt or die" feeling in my chest. So I just really prefer her taking the bus home. Haha plus, she's told me all these horror stories about bad drivers and close calls during the other times she's walked home. Haha so stalled her and made her take the 4'0'clock late bus XD. GOOD JOB ME!!!
Hahaha she kept telling me how dumb I was in a.. uhh excited and energetic voice hahaha but I just took it as if she wsa thanking me. Haha after all, this is XG I'm dealing with!!! And if XG ever reads this post, I'd just like to say that I'm good at interpreting her "language"!!!! XD
Haha so HG and EE ended up seeing me, and I felt kinda bad cuz I told them I was leaving, but ended up staying with XG instead. But I didn't let this thought get to me. I probably should've brought the topic up in a apologetic tone, but that didn't occur to me until now haha.
Anyways, after making sure that XG took the bus home, I went off and did something that I hadn't done in a long time, wave good bye to HG as she drove home!!! Hahaha it's something EE (shemvil girl, not EE Korean guy) started, and I just continued it after she couldn't do it anymroe cuz of track practice. I've occasionally brought other people to wave with me hahaha that was fun.
So when her car came up, with HG driving and her mom and sister riding along, I waved and yelled "long time no see!!! =D" cuz HG told me how her mom always asked where I was when I wasn't there waving hahahaha. Her mom yelled out "we missed you!" and I was like "Thanks!!!" and started to run to my car hahaha. I saw EE (guy) driving away as a ran and waved. He waved back! hahaha. Then I finally went home. I had a pretty fun time this afterschool!!!! XDXDXD
=)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
PIGGY BACKING!!! HAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA
Soooooooooo my school has these days called fitness days. We have them 2 times a week in gym class. They usually stink... a lot. Everybody always complains about it. haha one time, some kids tried to boycott it by not changing... they failed. They all just got marked down instead. I don't mind them too much. Fitness days have always given me the chance to see friends in other gym classes. Haha, though I usually don't mind them, since I'm injured and all, it's kinda hard to to the exercises cuz I might hurt myself more ><. Ahhhhhh but I manage =D.
Haha anyways, today's fitness day consisted of the gym classes doing plyometrics across the football field. Those are kinda fun. I like running. Though, this time was kinda bad, cuz I realized how out of shape I was. I always thought that I still had a decent physical ability and running speed, not as much as I had when I was still running cross-country, but not that bad. haha by the end of the period, I was sore.
Haha anyways, during the period, instead of doing plyometrics, we did something that turned out pretty... very awesome!!! XD hahahaha it was totally unexpected too! PIGGY BACK RIDING!!! hahaha everyone was ocnfused at first!!!! =D We all had to partner up with someone in our group and piggy back the partner across the field. Then the partners would switch roles and come back to the starting point. haha the people in my group were EN, NM, and AH. We split up so that the partners were one guy and one girl. so I was partnered w/ AH.
So EN and NM went first, NM on EN's back, and they ran off! Hahaha it was great! Everyone was laughing. Hahahahahaha it was HILARIOUS when EN (girl) tried to carry NM back!!! hahaha I think EN is strong, but not strong enough to cary a guy like twice her weight and height. hahaha so she trieeeeeeeed... but she was like, collapsing after a few steps. HAHAHAHA FUNNY!!! XD So NM ended up carrying EN again back to the starting line. Then it was my and AH's turn!!!! =)
Soooooooooo I never piggybacked a person in a whiiiiiiile. hmm.... make that a long while. Haha I've kinda... always... wondered what it was like to carry a girl... haha like in a manga! ^^" Never really imagined that I would get the chance! Not that I thought about it that much haha.
Soooooooo I ran across the field!!! I kinda reget bouncing her around on my back ^^". I should've ran more smoothly. Buuuuuuuuuuuuut the event was exciting, so it didn't occur to me! XD IT WAS SO MUCH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! XDXDXD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. She wasn't that heavy. Haha in fact, she apologized for like, literally weighing me down but I told her that she wasn't that heavy!!! ^^ I think that was a good/right thing to say!!! XD Haha and... well... haha it was just a really nice experience to carry a girl... soft... fun... nice... haha. And she's kinda pretty too... ANYWAYYYYS =D.
Don't be mean! Don't judge me!!! ^^ Sorry if what I just said was offensive!
So when I reached theend of the field, we were like, yeaaaaaaaaaa no way AH can carry me. Hahaha so I didn't even bother setting her down, I just turned around and ran back!!! XD hahahah THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUCH FUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! XD
Haha when we were heading back inside, everyone agreed that today's fitness day felt short even though we did more things and that it was pretty fun! Especially the piggy back riding part.
Haha I was in a good mood after that, even though I had to take a bio test right after. Haha it was kinda freaky. I went to a restroom after gym ended and I looked in the mirror and I looked like, dead. Like, grayish, clammy face and stuff. Hahaha and I felt seriosly energy deprived and empty headed too. I never felt like that before ^_^".
Haha I'm really glad that I've toughened up. I was able to keep a strong hold on myself despite my tired condition. Haha and I feel that I did pretty well on that bio test too! Though, now I'm kinda scared that I did kinda bad after all. Really hope I did well though, cuz this was the lst major bio test of the year.... my SENIOR YEAR!!! ><" yea. so I studied kinda hard, but I wish I studied more.
Other good parts of the day was having a sub in english, making myself have a nice nap in econ, having my stat teacher find my hw that she lost, and hanging out with people afterschool!
Hmm I've written a lot on this post, I'll make anew one to talk about what happened afterschool! XD. The piggy backing event today was FUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! XDXDXD
Soooooooooo my school has these days called fitness days. We have them 2 times a week in gym class. They usually stink... a lot. Everybody always complains about it. haha one time, some kids tried to boycott it by not changing... they failed. They all just got marked down instead. I don't mind them too much. Fitness days have always given me the chance to see friends in other gym classes. Haha, though I usually don't mind them, since I'm injured and all, it's kinda hard to to the exercises cuz I might hurt myself more ><. Ahhhhhh but I manage =D.
Haha anyways, today's fitness day consisted of the gym classes doing plyometrics across the football field. Those are kinda fun. I like running. Though, this time was kinda bad, cuz I realized how out of shape I was. I always thought that I still had a decent physical ability and running speed, not as much as I had when I was still running cross-country, but not that bad. haha by the end of the period, I was sore.
Haha anyways, during the period, instead of doing plyometrics, we did something that turned out pretty... very awesome!!! XD hahahaha it was totally unexpected too! PIGGY BACK RIDING!!! hahaha everyone was ocnfused at first!!!! =D We all had to partner up with someone in our group and piggy back the partner across the field. Then the partners would switch roles and come back to the starting point. haha the people in my group were EN, NM, and AH. We split up so that the partners were one guy and one girl. so I was partnered w/ AH.
So EN and NM went first, NM on EN's back, and they ran off! Hahaha it was great! Everyone was laughing. Hahahahahaha it was HILARIOUS when EN (girl) tried to carry NM back!!! hahaha I think EN is strong, but not strong enough to cary a guy like twice her weight and height. hahaha so she trieeeeeeeed... but she was like, collapsing after a few steps. HAHAHAHA FUNNY!!! XD So NM ended up carrying EN again back to the starting line. Then it was my and AH's turn!!!! =)
Soooooooooo I never piggybacked a person in a whiiiiiiile. hmm.... make that a long while. Haha I've kinda... always... wondered what it was like to carry a girl... haha like in a manga! ^^" Never really imagined that I would get the chance! Not that I thought about it that much haha.
Soooooooo I ran across the field!!! I kinda reget bouncing her around on my back ^^". I should've ran more smoothly. Buuuuuuuuuuuuut the event was exciting, so it didn't occur to me! XD IT WAS SO MUCH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! XDXDXD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. She wasn't that heavy. Haha in fact, she apologized for like, literally weighing me down but I told her that she wasn't that heavy!!! ^^ I think that was a good/right thing to say!!! XD Haha and... well... haha it was just a really nice experience to carry a girl... soft... fun... nice... haha. And she's kinda pretty too... ANYWAYYYYS =D.
Don't be mean! Don't judge me!!! ^^ Sorry if what I just said was offensive!
So when I reached theend of the field, we were like, yeaaaaaaaaaa no way AH can carry me. Hahaha so I didn't even bother setting her down, I just turned around and ran back!!! XD hahahah THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUCH FUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! XD
Haha when we were heading back inside, everyone agreed that today's fitness day felt short even though we did more things and that it was pretty fun! Especially the piggy back riding part.
Haha I was in a good mood after that, even though I had to take a bio test right after. Haha it was kinda freaky. I went to a restroom after gym ended and I looked in the mirror and I looked like, dead. Like, grayish, clammy face and stuff. Hahaha and I felt seriosly energy deprived and empty headed too. I never felt like that before ^_^".
Haha I'm really glad that I've toughened up. I was able to keep a strong hold on myself despite my tired condition. Haha and I feel that I did pretty well on that bio test too! Though, now I'm kinda scared that I did kinda bad after all. Really hope I did well though, cuz this was the lst major bio test of the year.... my SENIOR YEAR!!! ><" yea. so I studied kinda hard, but I wish I studied more.
Other good parts of the day was having a sub in english, making myself have a nice nap in econ, having my stat teacher find my hw that she lost, and hanging out with people afterschool!
Hmm I've written a lot on this post, I'll make anew one to talk about what happened afterschool! XD. The piggy backing event today was FUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! XDXDXD
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Easily Injured
Hmmm I don't seem to heal well.
I mean, I got a knee injury, an achilles heel injury, a wrist injury, and a elbow injury... all on my right side. ANNNNNND I got a back injury too! It's been MONTHS since I've gotten all these injuries, so either I'm not doing something right, or my body stinks at healing.... maybe its both ^^". I mean, there have been times when I've felt that some parts of my body have been getting better, and recently, my injured areas have been healing well, but usually, the injuries get worse. The severity of my injuries go up and down ><.
I'd say that I deal with injuries well. Although I react like I've been really hurt... I'm actually fine.. the only reason that I react like that at all is because of some girls I know that have gotten me into a bad habit... I'll go into that later :D. Really, I deal with physical pain well. Hits, cuts, scrapes, and so on. I'm okay with them. But that doesn't mean that I don't wanna avoid them. ^^
Injuries of the heart however, are things that I don't deal with well... but I've gained a better resistance to them since my younger days... as in last year and earlier. I get confused a lot of the time. Like, what did this person mean by this? Or did I say something wrong? what did I do? Should I apologize? Is this person upset with me? And so on. It really kills me when I'm thinking these things to myself. That's why I'm working on building the confidence that will stand strong against these meaningless and insignificant worries I have. So far, so good. :)
But it's not just worries about myself that kill me. I stress out over the pain of others. And while I don't really see this as a bad thing, I wish I had the ability to help solve the problems of others as long as I have this trait, because I'm just making myself suffer.
I want to be able to help the people around me... help solve their problems.. get along better with them... but unfortuneately, I kinda stink at all of this. Ugh, this issue of mine is one of the only things about me that I feel really haven't improved. Oh well, I'm going to improve myself. I have to and I WILL. =)
Haha but yea, I think if anybody seriously insulted me, especially when cursing at the same time,one of two things would happen I would act tough and ask the guy what his problem was or something... orrrrrrr I would cry on the inside, and very unlikely, the outside... but I think that would only happen if a friend did or said something bad to me. Haha yea, cry. I have a pretty weak innerself... at least I did in the past. I really have toughened up over the years.
Haha in fact, I've recently thought that if I could, I would go back in time to last year, and beat some sense into myself, physically AND verbally... as in punching myself in the face and telling me to grow a ___... yea. XD
I've let things get me down way too easily in the past... and now I'm seriously tired (and sick) of it. That's why I've maned up recently. Still got some ways to go though. But I'll get there!!!
I mean, I got a knee injury, an achilles heel injury, a wrist injury, and a elbow injury... all on my right side. ANNNNNND I got a back injury too! It's been MONTHS since I've gotten all these injuries, so either I'm not doing something right, or my body stinks at healing.... maybe its both ^^". I mean, there have been times when I've felt that some parts of my body have been getting better, and recently, my injured areas have been healing well, but usually, the injuries get worse. The severity of my injuries go up and down ><.
I'd say that I deal with injuries well. Although I react like I've been really hurt... I'm actually fine.. the only reason that I react like that at all is because of some girls I know that have gotten me into a bad habit... I'll go into that later :D. Really, I deal with physical pain well. Hits, cuts, scrapes, and so on. I'm okay with them. But that doesn't mean that I don't wanna avoid them. ^^
Injuries of the heart however, are things that I don't deal with well... but I've gained a better resistance to them since my younger days... as in last year and earlier. I get confused a lot of the time. Like, what did this person mean by this? Or did I say something wrong? what did I do? Should I apologize? Is this person upset with me? And so on. It really kills me when I'm thinking these things to myself. That's why I'm working on building the confidence that will stand strong against these meaningless and insignificant worries I have. So far, so good. :)
But it's not just worries about myself that kill me. I stress out over the pain of others. And while I don't really see this as a bad thing, I wish I had the ability to help solve the problems of others as long as I have this trait, because I'm just making myself suffer.
I want to be able to help the people around me... help solve their problems.. get along better with them... but unfortuneately, I kinda stink at all of this. Ugh, this issue of mine is one of the only things about me that I feel really haven't improved. Oh well, I'm going to improve myself. I have to and I WILL. =)
Haha but yea, I think if anybody seriously insulted me, especially when cursing at the same time,one of two things would happen I would act tough and ask the guy what his problem was or something... orrrrrrr I would cry on the inside, and very unlikely, the outside... but I think that would only happen if a friend did or said something bad to me. Haha yea, cry. I have a pretty weak innerself... at least I did in the past. I really have toughened up over the years.
Haha in fact, I've recently thought that if I could, I would go back in time to last year, and beat some sense into myself, physically AND verbally... as in punching myself in the face and telling me to grow a ___... yea. XD
I've let things get me down way too easily in the past... and now I'm seriously tired (and sick) of it. That's why I've maned up recently. Still got some ways to go though. But I'll get there!!!
Straws
Haha so I guy I know was like "Hey man, are you serious?" during lunch today. And I was like, "what?" And he made a gesture to my chocolate milk, and I said "hey! I like it! gezz haha." And he was like, "no man! the straw!" I was like, "huh?! What's wrong w/ it?!" He said that only little kids use straws... or girls.
I was like, "hey man, what's wrong with it?!" and in my mind, I was thinking "well I don't want my lips to touch that nasty carton! and its easier to drink with a straw!!! gezz ^^"." yeaaaaa I guess he was joking, but still!! Ugh... my pride!!! haha I knew that straws were kinda kiddy, but I like to use them to drink cold drinks! So sue me!!! gezz haha. Need some time to recover from that blow to my manhood... hahaha. =D
I was like, "hey man, what's wrong with it?!" and in my mind, I was thinking "well I don't want my lips to touch that nasty carton! and its easier to drink with a straw!!! gezz ^^"." yeaaaaa I guess he was joking, but still!! Ugh... my pride!!! haha I knew that straws were kinda kiddy, but I like to use them to drink cold drinks! So sue me!!! gezz haha. Need some time to recover from that blow to my manhood... hahaha. =D
TV
I watched WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much TV as a kid. I've probably seen episodes of Rugrats and other cartoons over 3 times... that's a lot of TV. Omg.. Fox, Nickolodean, Kids WB, Fox Kids, Cartoon Network, abc family... I... I just watched an unimaginable amount of TV throughout my childhood... to the point that rather than seeing the same episodes of stuff only 3 times... it was probably over 10 times... yea Very bad.
Haha my time was spent on TV while my brother's was spent on video games, so I've always wondered why his eyesight is so much better than mine. Guess TVs do more damage lol. I've kicked the TV addiction since, but I'm still tempted to watch TV shows occasionally, though I'm more into shows with real people now ^^.
Haha nowadays, I watch shows that are funny. Like Scrubs! XD But I watch movies and more serios shows too... but funny shows FTW!!! XDXDXD
Haha my time was spent on TV while my brother's was spent on video games, so I've always wondered why his eyesight is so much better than mine. Guess TVs do more damage lol. I've kicked the TV addiction since, but I'm still tempted to watch TV shows occasionally, though I'm more into shows with real people now ^^.
Haha nowadays, I watch shows that are funny. Like Scrubs! XD But I watch movies and more serios shows too... but funny shows FTW!!! XDXDXD
Monday, April 27, 2009
A Wish for Myself
I once blogged about wishes. Well, for years now, I've wished for one thing. If I could have this wish come true, my life would be pretty close to perfect. I've wished for this during elementary school, middle school, and even high school. Thinking back, I still wish that my wish could've been granted back then, though having my wish granted now would be great nevertheless.
All I've ever wished for was to do well in school.
Haha selfish, right? well, this it a wish that I would make for myself. Of course, if I ever got a chance to have any wish granted like with a genie or something, I'd wish for like, a world without poverty or war or pollution or something grand like that. But this is a wish that I've always wanted... ALWAYS.
So much... SO MUCH strife... tears... pain... damage... marital trouble... family trouble... health problems... mental problems... all of them could have been avoided if I were just smarter. Though I've gained a few things from all of my troubles... I... there are times when I think that what I've gained isn't worth what I've suffered for so many years... and not just me, but my family too.
AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. all of the... ARGH... that could've been avoided... it makes me angry... yet cry inside... haha...
Hmm... well, maybe I should take back what I said about "isn't worth...suffered." I mean, my painful past actually played a large part in making some of the good features of me and my family members.
Oh well, I still want my wish granted. Admittedly, maybe I didn't work hard to have this wish come true... but... haha I can't explain it.. but I have a horrible, stressful feeling within me when I think of how to explian why I couldn't do anything to change things myself. It's like... I feeling in my soul... I'm not exaggerating. Actually, its a feeling in mind, body, AND soul...
But now... now... NOW!!! Things are going to be different... they HAVE to be. I can't afford to not do well in school now, especially in college. So whatever force grants wishes... if you can hear me now...please... HELP ME DO WELL IN SCHOOL
haha I've always felt guilt when making a wish for myself. I mean there are so many people in the world... suffering, starving, dying... they would beg to be in any of the "bad" situations I've had in my life. I've felt this guiltt since I was young... like middle school.. maybe even younger. But still, I can't help but want to make a wish for my sake now. Actually, it was never just for my sake... it was for me... my family... and everybody we affect.
One person affects many.
All I've ever wished for was to do well in school.
Haha selfish, right? well, this it a wish that I would make for myself. Of course, if I ever got a chance to have any wish granted like with a genie or something, I'd wish for like, a world without poverty or war or pollution or something grand like that. But this is a wish that I've always wanted... ALWAYS.
So much... SO MUCH strife... tears... pain... damage... marital trouble... family trouble... health problems... mental problems... all of them could have been avoided if I were just smarter. Though I've gained a few things from all of my troubles... I... there are times when I think that what I've gained isn't worth what I've suffered for so many years... and not just me, but my family too.
AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. all of the... ARGH... that could've been avoided... it makes me angry... yet cry inside... haha...
Hmm... well, maybe I should take back what I said about "isn't worth...suffered." I mean, my painful past actually played a large part in making some of the good features of me and my family members.
Oh well, I still want my wish granted. Admittedly, maybe I didn't work hard to have this wish come true... but... haha I can't explain it.. but I have a horrible, stressful feeling within me when I think of how to explian why I couldn't do anything to change things myself. It's like... I feeling in my soul... I'm not exaggerating. Actually, its a feeling in mind, body, AND soul...
But now... now... NOW!!! Things are going to be different... they HAVE to be. I can't afford to not do well in school now, especially in college. So whatever force grants wishes... if you can hear me now...please... HELP ME DO WELL IN SCHOOL
haha I've always felt guilt when making a wish for myself. I mean there are so many people in the world... suffering, starving, dying... they would beg to be in any of the "bad" situations I've had in my life. I've felt this guiltt since I was young... like middle school.. maybe even younger. But still, I can't help but want to make a wish for my sake now. Actually, it was never just for my sake... it was for me... my family... and everybody we affect.
One person affects many.
Love in My Life
Blah... interesting thing it is...love. It can arouse so many... weird feeling and reactions in a person. Tightness of the chest, an embarrassed yet happy feeling, a mind that sometimes goes crazy over the person one has in mind... wow.
haha but I think it must be nice to have a partner... girlfriend that is. I imagine that a guy would be very happy to have one... haha yea, I've never had one before, but that doesn't mean that I've never fallen in love before.
haha when I was in grade school, I knew this girl named Kelsey Deleany (think that was how you spelled her last name. She was a pretty cute girl as I remember. She lived a few houses down the street I used to like in. haha I used to live on 80 Everygreen Avenue, New Providence, NJ. It was nice there. When I has a kid, we hung out a lot together. It was nice =).
haha I remember one time, I hurt myself with like, a wooden train track by getting my leg skin pinched really hard and that she rushed to her mom to help me ^^. lol Kills my pride to type this, but she and I played with her barbie dolls. Hey! I was like, 6! I didn't know they were for girls! gezz! ^^. Haha another time, she hid a grade she got back from me. It was a 86 or something, which must've been bad for grade school I guess... don't remember. She got angry at me for looking and after ignoring me for a while, finally forgave me. I said it was okay, but I wish I said "I'm sorry too! for looking." haha but I guess I wasn't that smart and well-mannered then. >< oh well, we got along again. XD
It was so long ago... and I'm not sure what I felt was like, a I like you feeling or just the new feeling of a guy hanging with his first girl friend (not girlfriend) ever. Either way, I had a lot of fun with her.
She was a nice girl. But I think... somehow (I don't remember. some fight? we grew distance?)... we grew apart... and eventually... she moved away... and I never heard from her again. I've always kinda regreted losing my friendship with her. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever meet her, or the other people I've met in my life ever again. I kinda hope I do. X)
Haha I remember I had another girl friend named Caitlin.... something... never learned her last name ^^". Again, grade school! My bad for not remembering. Anyways, she wasn't exactly cute like Kelsey was, but she was alright. haha she had curly hair and was a bit chubby. She also spoke like... hmm like a proper lady kinda a person. haha. She was a nice person too! And I got along with her well. But... one day, she just disappeared. I later learned that her parents had decided to home school her. I had no way of contacting her either. Sometimes I wonder what happened to her, and if she's still getting homeschooled.
Haha now comes the final girl that I've ever hung out with... until I reached middle school. Sarah... Yoon I think her last name was? Haha I didn't like like her though. Her mother and father were members of my old church and I guess my parents befriended them there. She was a korean girl about my age, I think she was a few months older though. I don't really remember what she looked like... she moved away... and at the same time as Tony, the friend of mine I mentioned in an earlier post. My memories with her are hazy, but I think we had fun together. I kinda recall running around with her on a field at a church event, seeign her at church, hitting a pinata at her b-day party, hanging out with her and tony at my old house... I thikn we really had fun together. ^^
Well anyways, recently, I've begun to think that I have no interest in any girl in my grade, and have thought that I'll just have to wait, hope, and see what happens in college. All the girls I know have boyfriends, are out of my league (or at least I feel that way), wouldn't get along with me in a realationship, or are just girls that I don't really want as a girlfriend.
haha after my "crushes" (I quote it cuz like I said before, I'm not sure if I likesd them as friends or more-ish) in grade school, I've only actually liked one person... though recently, though I don't want to admit it, there maybe be a second. haha her name was AZ. Truthfully, I think I only liked her for two reasons. One, I thought she was someone she actually wasn't. And two, I liked her during my junior year, which is when she became my friend. (unfortuneately, I didn't get to know her well until serior year... haha if I knew then what I knew now I problably wouldn't have liked her like I did). Like I've mentioned a few times before... junior year... bad. Like really bad. Now that I think about it, I always tried to talk to her. Me talking with her was like, the highlight of my day at the time. I guess a lot of my feelings for her were fueled by the badness of my life at the time.
Haha I remember having a killing feeling in my chest when things didn't really go the way I wanted when I talked to her. There are still times when she's just completely like blah. Nonreceptive to my presence really. But now, I just don't care. At all ^^. Haha I even secretly gave her valentine's day chocolate. Though, I kinda got aggravated by the fact that she cared more about how it got there rather than the gesture itself. I mean seriously, that kinda ruined it for me. haha oh well. I kinda regret ever liking her now, but I just gotta move on and junk.
Now comes my most recent issue. I'm really confused now. I don't know whether I like this girl or not... and even if I do, I'm not really sure if I should like her at all. She's a very interesting girl. I have fun when I'm with her. haha I'm not afraid to act as dumb as a want unlike when I'm with my other friends. I worry about her... so here's where it gets kinda complicated... I don't know if this is a love like how a parent loves and worries about his/her kid or maybe if I'm just caring too much or what. Haha I also have the impression that a guy likes her already, though personally, I don't think they relly get along together at all. Haha back then the impression was stronger, but recently, I've been having huge doubts that this impression is correct. I also have the impression that this girl has someone she likes already.
Ugh, but I gotta sort out my own feelings before I worry about anyone else's. I don't understand. When the someone joking asked if I liked her, the idea persisted in my head (not b/c I actually had feelings for the girl, but because I'm easily impressionable) so I quelled this idea with ease. With the two impressions I listed above, I convinced myself that the confusion and difficulties that would come if I admitted to myself that I liked this girl would be WAY too complicated and overwhelming... but now... NOW!!! WHY!!?! I suddenly kinda feel like how I did with AZ! Excited to talk to her and more!!! WHY?!?! I'm suppressing these unsure feelings of mine. Somehow, I really doubt that she would like me back, despite the first impression I mentioned being nearly concluded as wrong.
I... JUST... DON'T... KNOW. DO I LIKE THIS GIRL OR NOT! AHHHHHHH IT'S DRIVING MY MIND INSANE!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OF HER ANYMORE. And my mind is going off on its own thinking ideas of love about her. Ugh. I don't know what to do!!!
I think these feelings first came about because of my excessive care and worry about her... I guess my tendency to worry about other people (which I don't like saying I have since it makes me feel... arrogant (right word?) about myself)... especially girls... turned into feelings?!!?
Ugh. Guess I'll just have to wait and see. For now, I'll try to suppress my "feelings." Hope things work out well for everyone! ^^"
haha but I think it must be nice to have a partner... girlfriend that is. I imagine that a guy would be very happy to have one... haha yea, I've never had one before, but that doesn't mean that I've never fallen in love before.
haha when I was in grade school, I knew this girl named Kelsey Deleany (think that was how you spelled her last name. She was a pretty cute girl as I remember. She lived a few houses down the street I used to like in. haha I used to live on 80 Everygreen Avenue, New Providence, NJ. It was nice there. When I has a kid, we hung out a lot together. It was nice =).
haha I remember one time, I hurt myself with like, a wooden train track by getting my leg skin pinched really hard and that she rushed to her mom to help me ^^. lol Kills my pride to type this, but she and I played with her barbie dolls. Hey! I was like, 6! I didn't know they were for girls! gezz! ^^. Haha another time, she hid a grade she got back from me. It was a 86 or something, which must've been bad for grade school I guess... don't remember. She got angry at me for looking and after ignoring me for a while, finally forgave me. I said it was okay, but I wish I said "I'm sorry too! for looking." haha but I guess I wasn't that smart and well-mannered then. >< oh well, we got along again. XD
It was so long ago... and I'm not sure what I felt was like, a I like you feeling or just the new feeling of a guy hanging with his first girl friend (not girlfriend) ever. Either way, I had a lot of fun with her.
She was a nice girl. But I think... somehow (I don't remember. some fight? we grew distance?)... we grew apart... and eventually... she moved away... and I never heard from her again. I've always kinda regreted losing my friendship with her. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever meet her, or the other people I've met in my life ever again. I kinda hope I do. X)
Haha I remember I had another girl friend named Caitlin.... something... never learned her last name ^^". Again, grade school! My bad for not remembering. Anyways, she wasn't exactly cute like Kelsey was, but she was alright. haha she had curly hair and was a bit chubby. She also spoke like... hmm like a proper lady kinda a person. haha. She was a nice person too! And I got along with her well. But... one day, she just disappeared. I later learned that her parents had decided to home school her. I had no way of contacting her either. Sometimes I wonder what happened to her, and if she's still getting homeschooled.
Haha now comes the final girl that I've ever hung out with... until I reached middle school. Sarah... Yoon I think her last name was? Haha I didn't like like her though. Her mother and father were members of my old church and I guess my parents befriended them there. She was a korean girl about my age, I think she was a few months older though. I don't really remember what she looked like... she moved away... and at the same time as Tony, the friend of mine I mentioned in an earlier post. My memories with her are hazy, but I think we had fun together. I kinda recall running around with her on a field at a church event, seeign her at church, hitting a pinata at her b-day party, hanging out with her and tony at my old house... I thikn we really had fun together. ^^
Well anyways, recently, I've begun to think that I have no interest in any girl in my grade, and have thought that I'll just have to wait, hope, and see what happens in college. All the girls I know have boyfriends, are out of my league (or at least I feel that way), wouldn't get along with me in a realationship, or are just girls that I don't really want as a girlfriend.
haha after my "crushes" (I quote it cuz like I said before, I'm not sure if I likesd them as friends or more-ish) in grade school, I've only actually liked one person... though recently, though I don't want to admit it, there maybe be a second. haha her name was AZ. Truthfully, I think I only liked her for two reasons. One, I thought she was someone she actually wasn't. And two, I liked her during my junior year, which is when she became my friend. (unfortuneately, I didn't get to know her well until serior year... haha if I knew then what I knew now I problably wouldn't have liked her like I did). Like I've mentioned a few times before... junior year... bad. Like really bad. Now that I think about it, I always tried to talk to her. Me talking with her was like, the highlight of my day at the time. I guess a lot of my feelings for her were fueled by the badness of my life at the time.
Haha I remember having a killing feeling in my chest when things didn't really go the way I wanted when I talked to her. There are still times when she's just completely like blah. Nonreceptive to my presence really. But now, I just don't care. At all ^^. Haha I even secretly gave her valentine's day chocolate. Though, I kinda got aggravated by the fact that she cared more about how it got there rather than the gesture itself. I mean seriously, that kinda ruined it for me. haha oh well. I kinda regret ever liking her now, but I just gotta move on and junk.
Now comes my most recent issue. I'm really confused now. I don't know whether I like this girl or not... and even if I do, I'm not really sure if I should like her at all. She's a very interesting girl. I have fun when I'm with her. haha I'm not afraid to act as dumb as a want unlike when I'm with my other friends. I worry about her... so here's where it gets kinda complicated... I don't know if this is a love like how a parent loves and worries about his/her kid or maybe if I'm just caring too much or what. Haha I also have the impression that a guy likes her already, though personally, I don't think they relly get along together at all. Haha back then the impression was stronger, but recently, I've been having huge doubts that this impression is correct. I also have the impression that this girl has someone she likes already.
Ugh, but I gotta sort out my own feelings before I worry about anyone else's. I don't understand. When the someone joking asked if I liked her, the idea persisted in my head (not b/c I actually had feelings for the girl, but because I'm easily impressionable) so I quelled this idea with ease. With the two impressions I listed above, I convinced myself that the confusion and difficulties that would come if I admitted to myself that I liked this girl would be WAY too complicated and overwhelming... but now... NOW!!! WHY!!?! I suddenly kinda feel like how I did with AZ! Excited to talk to her and more!!! WHY?!?! I'm suppressing these unsure feelings of mine. Somehow, I really doubt that she would like me back, despite the first impression I mentioned being nearly concluded as wrong.
I... JUST... DON'T... KNOW. DO I LIKE THIS GIRL OR NOT! AHHHHHHH IT'S DRIVING MY MIND INSANE!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OF HER ANYMORE. And my mind is going off on its own thinking ideas of love about her. Ugh. I don't know what to do!!!
I think these feelings first came about because of my excessive care and worry about her... I guess my tendency to worry about other people (which I don't like saying I have since it makes me feel... arrogant (right word?) about myself)... especially girls... turned into feelings?!!?
Ugh. Guess I'll just have to wait and see. For now, I'll try to suppress my "feelings." Hope things work out well for everyone! ^^"
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