Guy Friends

haha since hmmm... entering high school, I've gained a lot of friends... and like I've said before, I've been kinda saddened that I don't really have any close friends. But another thing that bothers me is that... haha I kinda lack friends who are guys.

hahaha not easy to admit, but for a while now, I've mainly hung out with girls, and gotten along better with girls as well. A lot of the guys I know... make lewd jokes and statements, cursing all the while... not in a bad way... but... the thing is, I don't really wanna act like that. And you kinda hve to to fit in with those guys. I don't mind it... but I just can't do it myself, not that I would want to... haha that would require a personality change. ^^

But yea, I realize that guys don't just talk about sports and girls, saying lewd things and cursing. I know they do other stuff too... but I don't know, I just can't get along with them well. But back in my old school, I had a good friend named Wilson Keng. He was a great guy. haha he was kinda fat, but he was tall, hilariously funny, and really smart! He was one of those kids whose parents forced him to only study and didn't buy him games and stuff. haha I laughed sooooooooooooooo hard from his jokes. He was a good person too!

I've met a lot of guys that I was able to be close friends with in the past too. Tony, Anthony, Jung, Damien, Jonathon, Paul... but in the end, somehow... my ties with them were cut off. I don't remember what happened with all of them... some moved away... I moved away too... and some friendships died off for no good reason.

I remember that happened with Anthony. He was my best friend in elementary school, but one day while I was hanging at his house, I hurt myself by getting my leg stuck in the sofa. I was crying in pain, but he didnt see what was the big deal. I guess he was tough, and I was being a bit of a baby. But he was being a bit uncaring too. I told my mom what happened, and she told me to not talk to him anymore.

I shouldn't have listened.

We were kids. Anthony's reaction was kinda understandable. He wasn't being mean or anything. He just failed to see the problem... he still spoke softly and stuff when asking if I was okay. I was a little kid then... but I know now that I shouldn't have listened to my mom like that. I've learned that she has a habit of condemning/judging people to quickly and harshly... haha kinda like my brother. It was because of my inability to think for myself that I lost a good friend.

Recently, I lost a few other good friends, one being Dan Marrero... but I'll write about him later.

Back to the main topic, I really wish I could get along better with the guys I know at school. I feel so distant from them. They can get along with people, guys and girls, so well, yet... I...feel like an outcast... I guess that's what happens when you fail to make really good friends... or just fail at making good friends.

haha in such a short time, two people I know became friends! and they get along really well too! haha pretty sad... naaaah thats not the right word.. more like.. surprising... actually, I'm kinda jealous of their ability to become friends so fast... so easily.

Well, right now, I have soon guy friends. They're really good, nice people. Really smart too. Good friends. Like EU and EN (even though I don't talk to him as much anymore). I'm glad I met them.

haha well, I hope I make a lot of good friends, guys and girls, in college. =D