Thinking

haha this is kinda like my "Running" post from a little while ago. I've always wanted to just... think.

haha well, yea I do that already.. but there's more to this idea. Duuuuuh! ^^

haha where should IIIIII begin... well, I just want to think about what I've dealt with in my life... I don't think I really have a right to say this.... but I feel that I've experienced a lot more than an average person does by my age.

But anyways... I've always just wanted to think... about everything! About all of I've done.. about all I've said... about all I've seen, heard, and believed... about my childhood... about my highschool days... and about now...

How I've acted... my friends... my family.... college... what I want to do with my life... my values... my beliefs.... ohhhhhhhhhhhhh and so much more!!!!

The past. The present. The future. Life in general... who I am... how I should change... what I should do... what I shouldn't do.... what I've regreted... love... behavior... time... studies... ahhhhhhh I could go on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...

I wish I had all the time I needed to think like this... so then I wouldn't have to worry about doing other things like work and studying. I wish I could do something like this all alone... I want complete solitude... from people, bugs, maybe even the passing by cars.

haha I've tried to do this before a bit... but just laying around made me sleepy... that didnt work out! ^^" haha I want to do this to sort a lot of things in my head out. Help myself get over a lot of the things I've regreted (big and small things).. even since long ago. haha in the past, I was seriously haunted by so many "bad" and embarassing things I've done. haha

Looking at myself now... I'm kinda glad that I turned out so well. I've overcome so many things.. and things are looking better and brighter. Life isnt great... but, I can get things to head in that direaction... to be pretty close to great... one day I hope =D

haha a song that I'm listening to that kinda gives me the feeling for what I just typed above is "So Long Goodbye" by Sum 41.

Waaaaaah so many things to think about... so little time... perhaps I wouldn't be about to come to a conclusion about some things... like I would wish to so by thinking... but.. I think I would get a better feeling of... closure... of the numerous things that have been in my head. I really needed this thinking period last year... now... not as much... but... I think it would still be wonderful... and kinda necessary... to have. I hope that I can do this one day. =)