I Don't Want to Admit It

I don't like admitting certain negative things about myself. Like, I feel that, for example, I admitted I was depressed, then I would truly believe I was depressed, and wallow in the idea... something I seriously don't want to do. By not admitting it, I feel that I won't give into evils and horrors of the idea.

So I really, reallllly don't want to admit that I have bad luck, even though there are signs of it every now and then. And I'm not saying that I have bad luck all the time. Good things happen to me too! But... my good luck usually gives way to only little good things usually. But when something bad happens to come across me, I'm hit pretty hard.

Like today, I went to my teeth implant guy, and I had to get one of the rod set ups for my fake teeth taken out. The story behind this is that I was born without 2 adult teeth, so without implanting fake teeth into my mouth, I'll have two spaces in my lower row of teeth forever. But by getting braces (which I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally don't like having) to move my teeth to give way to the fake teeth, going through surgery to impant these metal rods into my jaw, and placing crowns on these rods, I can acquire fake teeth.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT I guess I'm not so lucky, cause one of the rods ended up loose somehow. Apparently, there was ONLY a 95% chance that nothing would go wrong -.-". Dang that 5% lol ><. Yea soooooo it looks like I'll have todeal with unexpected teeth issues and will have to go through the surgery and drugging again. Woohoo~ lol.

But yea, seriously, bad luck much? Recently, I've also faced some trouble in stat class, where my teacher ended up losing one of my tests, and a hw for a while. Haha then there are the little events caused by bad luck or coincidences or whatever. Like, I ended up missing a day of school, but by the end of the day I realized how badly I needed to go to school that day. It was such a huge like, twist of fate or irony or something ><.

Haha but back to the central topic. I feel that if I admit I have bad luck, I'll have bad luck all the time. They say that to fix a problem, you have to admit you have one, but I don't think that applies to this situation. I feel that if I let myslef I admit that I have bad luck or am depressed or whatever, I'll be holding a big, heavy, dark, and negative weight on my shoulders, and in my heart too. I can't let that happen.

So as long as I feel this dense negative threat, I'll always fight the ideas of bad luck that I have. =)