Jealous

In my whole life, I've only been jealous of one thing other people had that I didn't: the ability to get along with others with ease. I look at other people, and they're all buddy buddy even though they aren't even friends! One time, I made a friend with someone, but even now never really made a connection with her, but she later made another friend, and did what I couldn't in only a fraction of the time!!! What's with that!?!?! There's also a friend of mine LG, who get's along with everybody so well!!! It's not just him, other people too!!!

Why?! Why is it like this!?!! What's the difference between us??!? Why is this guy so likable?!? How do they get along so well... so easily?!?! Questions like these faintly haunt me nowadays... not enough to truly bother me, but enough to be annoying. In the past, and even now, I've tended to be awkward with people. It's like there's no spark to even start a lasting conversation. This part of me has really been killing me over the years. Of course, I've gotten some better social skills recently, and I'm glad that I've been making progress, but I feel that a bulk of the issue is still here, annoying/haunting me.

I guess this brings me back to a previous post, the one about me not having really close friends. I seriously wish I had a few friends that I really connected with, got along with, hung out a lot with. Some guys who really understood me, and me really understanding them. I'm tired of the broad friendships that I've made over the years. Not that I don't like them, they're great and enjoyable. But still, having close friends... I think that would be really great.